Finding You Page 4

  Tonight I got home at nine. As soon as I entered my apartment I smelled roast beef. For two nights Maria has prepared delicious Italian dinners for me. Yesterday when I saw that chubby lady working around the apartment I got scared. I thought my bad luck with Italian women was haunting me. On the contrary. Maria is a wonderfully gifted chef! This morning I felt I needed to jog because of her cooking. I went to the Palazzo Estense gardens… I didn’t expect to find such a beautiful public park in this small town. And the views! It is completely surrounded by the Alps. Now I understand why it’s called the “Garden City”. A green paradise.

  I am going to the table to have dinner, when my cell phone rings. I read the caller’s name on the display. I answer without enthusiasm.

  “Hello Eva.”

  “Hi love, how are you doing in your desolate land?” Love? I begin to feel irritated.

  “Do you need something, Eva?” I know I’m rude, but I am hungry and not interested in chatting with her.

  “I wanted to hear your voice. Jamie, I miss you!” Jamie. Only my mother and my father used to call me Jamie. One is dead and the other estranged. To hear her call me by my nickname drives me crazy.

  “Do you miss me? Are you joking?” I turn the oven back on to keep my dinner warm, while speaking to her.

  “Why are you such a dick today?” The true Eva speaks! “Have you already found a secretary to screw?” I think of Harry and the idea made me laugh. Eva can’t understand. “Are you laughing at me? Well in that case, when you come back to New York, remember not to call me! I will not be available. Bastard!” She hangs up. I kept laughing. Just the idea of banging Harry on my desk is exhilarating. I take a beer out of the fridge while drying tears of laughter from my eyes.

  Later my good mood has completely disappeared and I can’t sleep. I remember my father’s words, “You are such a disappointment, James.” Fuck me! This time I really did something bad. For what? I wanted show him that I am strong, that I could make it. I wanted to defeat him on his own territory. I wanted his respect and obtained exactly the opposite. I will never forget the tense expression on his face at the Global Media board of directors meeting. They announced that I was the new owner. I won. He jumped up and left with his bootlickers. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t look at me. Nothing. Linda fell into my arms thinking that our relationship was something solid and out in the open now. A relationship that went beyond our Global Media agreement. When she understood, her anger and disappointment were more than evident. But I didn’t give a shit about her. It was easy to seduce and influence her for my benefit. I am not proud of myself, but the only thing that interested me was winning.

  Chapter 7

  Valentina

  I am so anxious! I couldn’t sleep for two nights. The night before I had nightmares and last night I kept switching the light on because I had ideas about how to solve the agency’s problems. The result is that my face is more of a disaster than usual! I am not even sure what to do with these ideas… Should I talk to my boss about them? Don’t be crazy, Valentina! I can see him staring at me with wide eyes. He would laugh at me and my brilliant ideas. No, thank you.

  When I arrive at the office, Emma is already at her desk. Oh boy! This girl is worse than me! Like me she doesn’t have much of a social life, but at least I don’t live in the office.

  “Emma, why are you here so early?”

  “Hi Tina,” she looks up from her computer as soon as she hears my voice. I’m sure she is on the web reading all the gossip sites. She does it every morning. “You know, it’s better to spend time here than at home with my parents.” I feel sorry for her. A scary thought crosses my mind. God! I wonder if people have the same pitiful impression about me. I shake my head trying to forget that thought.

  “Grey is not here yet.” She announces.

  “Who?”

  “Grey is the nickname the agency’s girls call Spencer! They think he would be perfect for the lead actor in Fifty Shades of Grey. In fact, look at this!” Cautiously looking around, she turns her computer towards me. I look at her screen. I see a series of images of our boss with several beautiful young women. All different. The article describes him as a playboy and one of the most eligible bachelors in New York. Emma keeps chatting while I read on: “Basically he had sex with half of the women in New York City! He dated famous models, actresses, journalists, even a politician. Do you realize we are working for him?”

  “Unfortunately, yes!” Absentmindedly these words slip out. Emma looks at me suspiciously. Trying to cover up my too revealing faux pas, I change the subject saying, “So, let’s get to work.”

  Frankly it is difficult working closely with such an attractive man. You look at his eyes and wonder what he’s thinking of you. No doubt in my case he sees a dull person. You observe his smile and you think he smiles that way at everyone. Yet, deep in your heart, you hope that sweet, irresistible smile is only for you. But you know perfectly well it’s not that way. You look at his hands and ask yourself how it would feel to be caressed by those fingers. Eventually, reality dawns. You understand that a man like James Spencer will never consider you a special woman. I don’t know why this thought is devastating. What’s going on with me? Since my relationship with Carlo ended, I never looked for another man. I don’t care about it. There are many handsome young men at the agency, but I hardly notice them. Why is it different with him? It must be the well-known female masochism. I don’t see any other explanation. I have only one choice: convince myself, without ambivalence, that he is my very attractive boss, but nothing else. I’m sure he only sees me as his assistant. It is completely useless, painful too, feeding this flame of hope. Even though his eyes look deeply intense sometimes. Just the thought of it gives me shivers throughout my body. I need to ignore this inappropriate sensation.

  It’s better to focus on work and try to think logically about the wacky ideas I had during my sleepless night. I am so self-absorbed that I don’t hear him coming. He grumbles ‘good morning’ and goes directly to his office. He wears a dark coat which contrasts with his light hair as he resolutely walks in with briefcase in hand. Emma and I answer simultaneously, “Good morning!” I can’t help but notice my colleagues’ behaviour when he passes. They all begin to preen. One fixes her hair, another gives her sexy kitten look, and the one with a mini skirt crosses her legs. Is this necessary just to be noticed by a man?

  I am still immersed in my thoughts when James opens his door and calls me. Everyone suddenly stops what they are doing. All freeze like in a children’s game, red light green light. It’s funny. I smile, take my notepad and join him.

  “Take a seat. We need to propose some solutions for those three companies. I racked my brains all night, but—” I imagine him alone in bed. A part of me feels tenderness for him, but I also wonder what he wears in bed. Probably his underpants only. I try not to have haunting thoughts of James bare-chested— “Why that face? Don’t you feel well?” He asks.

  Boy! What am I going to say now? It’s so hot. Turn off the heat! My ears ring and I feel my face burning. I open my mouth to say something. Not sure what. Then I see my notepad.

  “Last night I had a few ideas. I am sure they are not great… You know, I’m not—”

  “Shoot!” He interrupts me. I can’t back off now. I take a deep breath.

  “As I mentioned to you, Redenge wants Marino, the soccer player, but what if we could convince them he is the wrong choice?” He is listening to me. “He is a star. At least that is what people say. I don’t follow soccer. Even my Italian mother, and you know how Italians love soccer, didn’t let me watch soccer growing up.” I realize I am not making sense. Is he smiling or laughing at me? Embarrassed I look down at my notes. Quickly I need to wrap this up. “Redenge produces sports shoes. Their mission is to create a better environment utilizing eco-friendly materials.” He raises one eyebrow. Bad sign. “Eduardo Marino is a womanizer who is always in the news for brawls, speeding and drunk driving.” Now he frowns. �
��I think Marino’s character doesn’t fit for the Redenge mission.”

  “Your idea is not bad. But how can we convince them?” Can we? “I mean, they paid a lot of money to our agency so we could pay for Marino’s fee.” He says.

  “I didn’t think about that.” Perhaps because I am merely an assistant, not an account manager! “Let’s use our brains. We are talking about positive values and sport. Some sports are team oriented, so their objectives are solidarity, loyalty and friendship.”

  “Please, go on.” He encourages me, leaning back in his chair while his hand is touching his chin. Again those hands! How can I continue with this shiver running down my spine?

  “Let’s replace the soccer star with a little league team from a small town. We will announce that the funds will be used to build a soccer field for the town youth. We’ll wire the money in the agency’s name. Because it’s for charity that amount will be tax deductible. The money will be indirectly returned to us through tax credits.”

  I steal a glance at him. He has stopped tapping his chin. He stares at me. I am afraid I said something stupid. Yet when I had this idea, it made a lot of sense to me. It seemed like a good solution.

  He leans forward, his elbows on the desk and he writes something on a piece of paper. He looks at me again. “Damn it, you are a genius!” Oh boy! I believe it’s a compliment. “We need to formalize the proposal. We need to understand if it’s economically feasible, but the idea is great!”

  He’s looking straight into my eyes. I am breathless. There is silver glittering in his eyes and I look away. He’s saying, “I will go to see Vic and hear what he thinks about this idea.”

  I move toward the door, but before I can open it he jumps up and opens it for me. Now he seems like a gentleman from another time. I hesitate a few seconds. He is so close to me that I sense his smell. I don’t know exactly what it is, maybe almond oil. I only know it’s so good. Unfortunately I can’t linger to smell his scent!

  When I return from my lunch break his door is open. Even before I take off my jacket, he whistles for me. Why does he treat me like a dog again? I look at him with daggers in my eyes. But then that irresistible dimpled smile appears on his face and my bad mood disappears in a flash.

  “The idea has been approved. Come in and I’ll update you.” I enter his office and sit down. He remains standing, leaning against his desk with legs crossed. “Vic also loves your idea!” He says smiling. Wait. Did he use the word your? So he didn’t pretend it was his own idea. “Next step is to sell Redenge on the idea, without them knowing how their money is being distributed.”

  “Why don’t we tell them the truth? We could explain that Susan robbed both of us, the project budget we agreed upon will remain the same and our agency will cover the loss.”

  “And do you really think we can convince them this way? You are really naïve.” I feel a blow to my stomach. “Do you know how it will end? They will tell us that we are foolish and incompetent and will terminate our contract. Our loss will be three times bigger!” He excitedly points his finger at me several times. I can’t allow this. I suddenly stand up.

  “First, don’t point your finger at me. It’s rude. Second, do not address me as if I were an idiot because I prefer truth to lies. Third, you are the account manager, I am only your assistant.” I move towards the door but I turn to say another thing. “And if you dare to call me Harry again, I will wring your neck!”

  It’s official! I am crazy. Crazy and fired. I grab my jacket and purse and run to catch a train. Emma doesn’t dare to stop me or say a word. I don’t even say goodbye to her. I just need to get away from here.

  Chapter 8

  James

  I can’t believe it. She left me hanging! No woman has ever spoken to me that way before. What was she thinking? I sit at my desk and search among my scattered papers. Where is that fucking number? Here it is. I pick up the phone and dial the Human Resources office. I am so angry about what just happened that I would like to have her moved to another department.

  “Human Resources,” I don’t speak for a few seconds—

  “Sorry. I dialed the wrong extension.”

  I hang up the phone. I will let her cool down. But tomorrow if she doesn’t come back to apologize for her behaviour, I will contact them. I think I will go and see Vic to check what he thinks about my assistant’s idea to tell the truth to Redenge. As soon as I step out of my office I am greeted by women’s smiles at the reception desk.

  “Hello James. Did you find a strategy to convince Redenge to accept our proposal?” asks the CEO.

  “Not really. But Harrison had an idea.”

  “Tell me.” Vic says impatiently.

  “Just tell the truth. Tell them about Susan, the stolen deposit and ask for their assistance to limit the damage. I already told her that the idea—”

  “It’s the only possible solution!” Vic interrupts me abruptly without letting me to finish my sentence. “I told you that she is an intelligent and competent assistant. Because she knows Redenge’s history she has proposed this solution. The company’s majority owner is a middle aged man with strong moral convictions. We don’t have an alternative.” Now Vic looks at me and asks: “Why didn’t you bring your assistant with you?” Damn it! Now I’m really in trouble.

  “Valentina didn’t feel well. So I convinced her to go home. She suddenly flushed— Maybe she has the flu.” I’m not completely lying.

  “You did the right thing, James. If tomorrow afternoon she feels better, I would like to discuss the details with both of you. Let’s also involve the creative team. It’s time for them to use their brains.”

  Shit! Thank god I didn’t move her to another department. I would be in deep trouble.

  Back in my office I look for my assistant’s numbers. I only find her cell number. Fuck! Doesn’t she have a landline? I am sure that if she sees my cell or office number, she won’t answer. I need to resolve this mess. While I am thinking of a solution, I hear knocking at my door. Damn it! Who is it now?

  “Come in!” She is the girl who works at the desk next to Harry.

  “Mr Spencer, sorry to disturb you. The boy from Caffe` Villa has arrived with your espresso.”

  I didn’t order any coffee. I suppose Valentina ordered it. Only yesterday I mentioned to her how good it made me feel.

  I thank the girl for the espresso. I don’t remember her name. In a way she reminds me of Harrison. I look at her and notice her bulging eyes. No, Harry is much better. At least she has intelligent eyes.

  The girl gives me a dumb smile and without a word returns to her desk. Unintentionally she gives me a brilliant idea!

  Chapter 9

  Valentina

  I just got home. It’s unbearable to feel hysterical for three days in a row because of that sexist, bossy asshole! The thing that most upsets me is to be fired by someone who has his head up his ass! I am scared, but I couldn’t restrain myself. I had to say what I thought. I did the right thing! No, what was I thinking? Of course I did the wrong thing! Looking at this episode calmly, if I were to lose my job, it would be a disaster. I can already hear Marta’s words: “Tina, you can always go to dad. He will find you a job—” I can’t understand why she always wants to send me back to one of my parents. Sometimes it’s my mother, other times my father. Yet I should call my father. He will have some good advice. I check the time. He should still be at the office.

  “Harrison.” I hear his warm voice. It is in moments like these that I miss him terribly.

  “Hi dad, how are you?”

  “Tina, sweetie, I’m well and you?”

  “How is the weather in London?” I don’t want to go straight to the point.

  “It’s snowing and as you can imagine the city is one traffic jam. Nothing new! Honey, why are you at home? Shouldn’t you be at work? Here is his rational voice! I am the same way. I inherited it from my father. Not from that dreamer, my mother.

  “In fact I called you for this reason. Da
d, I think I made a big mistake.” I told him everything that happened with James and about my fear of being fired.

  Eventually he laughs and reassures me. “Tina, you only defended yourself. You weren’t rude and didn’t offend him. If you ever receive a written report from the Human Resources office because of your boss, simply answer with a written complaint about his lack of respect toward you. Yet, I think it’s unlikely that it will come to that.”

  “How can you be certain?”

  “First, he just arrived and he would risk alienating a good part of the agency. Second, I wouldn’t have become CEO of London Banking, if I didn’t know how things work in business.”

  “You are right! The problem is this man is completely unpredictable. Sometimes he treats me well and other times—” It’s better to tone it down. “…a little less.” I must remember I am talking to David Harrison: if anyone touches his girls, he would be capable of skinning them alive!

  “Tina, you know, if you ever would decide to move here, Helena and I would be more than happy. With all our contacts we could easily find an interesting job for you.”

  “I know it, dad. But I like living in Italy and, in spite of James Spencer, I love my job. Don’t worry. If things become unmanageable, I will call you immediately.”

  “Yes sweetie. I shouldn’t worry too much, but I am your father. Please, keep me posted. Ok?”

  “Promised! I love you. Say hello to Helena.”

  I hang up and feel so much better. But then my cell phone rings. I check the display. It’s Emma.

  “Emma, what’s going on?”

  “You tell me!” Shit! It’s not Emma. It’s actually James’s voice…

  “James?”

  “Exactly. And don’t even try to hang up on me because, I swear, I will come to your apartment! Is that clear?”

  Arrogant asshole. “What do you want?”

  “I’ll be brief. Vic approved your line of candid honesty toward Redenge. He wants to see both of us tomorrow for a meeting. I am calling you to make sure you will be present.”