Finding You Read online

  “Hey Matt? Did I wake you up?” I ask, smiling. I am happy to speak my language and hear a friend’s voice.

  “Ass hole! You know perfectly well it’s 4 a.m. here!”

  “I can call later, if I am disturbing you.” I like to tease him.

  “At this point I am awake. How are you? Did you already screw a beautiful Italian model? Oops! Sorry. I forgot you are in the fashion capital. Let me re-phrase my question. How many models have you fucked already?”

  “I smile. “None yet. But I must admit the agency is full of beautiful women. Good hunting ground. The only dog is my assistant.”

  “Really?” He’s howling now. “This time your old man is really punishing you. I hope that you enjoyed going to bed with the CEO of Global Media, given the price you are paying.”

  “Let’s say that having sex with a woman of Linda’s experience wasn’t a sacrifice… But the greatest reward was to see my father’s face. I stole a company he had in his sights for a long time and under his very nose.”

  “Yes, I recognize that. But you didn’t have much time to enjoy the victory, since he was able to stick you with this job in Italy.” Matthew is the vice president of my company which owns several media outlets: television, radio, newspapers and several websites.

  “Yes, it seems so. Changing the subject, how are things going there?” I am not sure I want to know.

  “Umm, about what?” he asks.

  “About the company, of course!”

  “Ah, all ok! Don’t worry. We only lost the contract with Grant Corporation and its associated firms. Your father was able to limit the damage. He needs Global Media to stay healthy for as long as possible to obtain his goal. As soon as we are no longer useful to him, he will try to sink us.”

  He speaks too much and too fast.

  “Matthew, do you need to tell me something?”

  “No! Why?”

  “Because I know you too well. Usually you don’t talk so much, especially at four in the morning! It happens only when you are nervous. I feel there is some detail you are not telling me. Am I right?”

  “Fuck me! Yes!”

  “Speak! I am on the other side of the world and can’t wring your neck. What did you do? I’m afraid you fucked up at work—”

  “It’s not about me! It’s Eva. Last night we were at Fire to celebrate Brody’s birthday. I saw her hugging a stud in ripped jeans. I had several cocktails and I wasn’t perfectly sober, but Brody noticed her too. Listen, I’m sorry.”

  “Matt, you almost gave me a heart attack. I don’t give a shit about what Eva is doing.”

  “I thought you were a couple. I always saw her clinging to you—”

  “Absolutely not! Only two things are great about Eva: being seen with her because she’s beautiful and sleeping with her because she never refuses.”

  “Ok. Glad to hear this. I didn’t know how to tell you this thing.”

  Eva. Her name explains a lot. She works as PR for Fire and is a woman everyone notices. She is very beautiful with a kind of sexual ambiguity. Long blonde hair with emerald green eyes. She is slender and when she wears heels, she’s almost as tall as me. She has sensual lips created for kissing and for more. A lot of more… Except talking. Eva is the perfect trophy girlfriend and is great in bed. Nothing else. Sometime it’s easier for me to call her than trying to hustle a new girl. We have a silent agreement: nothing serious between us. She is free to have sex with whoever she wants. And so am I. Last night I called her just to hear a familiar voice, not because I missed her.

  Better to go back to work. Let’s try to understand what is going on here. I take the last contracts from the files and, in spite of the fact that Italian is my mother tongue, there are parts I don’t understand. I am almost ready to call Vic, when I hear my father’s voice calling: “It’s a good thing that your mother is dead. She would have hated me for not teaching you those values so important to her. We both have disappointed her. But at least I regret it. You don’t care.”

  I pick up the telephone to call Harry instead. I dial one.

  “Harry, this is—” I am an idiot. She almost caught me using that nickname! “Can you come in one second?”

  “Sure!”

  Shit! I need to restrain myself. After all it’s not this girl’s fault if I made a mess in New York and she ended up working for me in Milan. I hope she’s at least as competent as Vic describes her. She enters cautiously. Since I need to collaborate with her it is better we start afresh.

  “Ms Harrison, please take a seat. I need to talk to you.” She doesn’t look at me. I must have been a real asshole. When she eventually looks at me from behind her glasses she appears a beaten dog. I sigh and resume speaking. I lean back in my chair, while she remains tensely seated erect. Her hands are tightly clasped on her lap. “Listen, unfortunately this is not the work I wanted. If we add to that a shitty flight and inadequate accommodation—” She looks up and stares at me. God! Where did she come from? A convent? I try with my sex appeal. I smile at her. “What I’m trying to say to you is that we started off on the wrong foot.”

  “We?” She repeats. “Sorry if I am too blunt, but the only person who has behaved inappropriately is you.” She speaks the rest of the sentence in perfect English. I am without words. At the same time I want to laugh. Her ears and her neck are bright red.

  “You are right. Let me re-phrase my sentence. I apologize for acting rudely. Being tired sometimes doesn’t help.” This situation is ridiculous but at some point I need to end this conversation. I get up and I extend my hand to her: “Good morning. My name is James Spencer and we will be working together for the next few months.”

  She looks at me as if I am crazy. Eventually she sighs and shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you, Valentina Harrison. I will be your assistant for the next few months.”

  I sit again. “Well, now that we have finished with the formalities, may I ask you where you are from?”

  “I live in the province of Como,” she says raising her eyebrows.

  “I didn’t ask where you live, Harry.” Damn it! I said it. Hoping she didn’t hear me I keep going with my questions. “Are you English?”

  “What did you call me?” Shit! She heard me.

  “Yes. Sorry. I have the bad habit of being informal with everyone and shorten everybody’s surname. If this bothers you, just let me know.” I give her one of my best smiles. A smile that my friend Matthew calls, wet panty smile. Women can’t resist it.

  But I don’t obtain the result I wished for. She squints her eyes. She’s clearly upset.

  “Tina.” She tells me. “If you must use a nickname, you can call me Tina. I am not your drinking buddy or a dog!”

  Holy shit! This won’t be an easy collaboration.

  “Perfect, Tina. You can call me James.” I emphasize her name to annoy her. In fact her eyes narrow even more. “Getting back to work, can you gather all the information on the clients Susan fucked over?”

  Her mouth is open as she stares at me. She doesn’t move. What’s happening?

  “Should I ask you this in English?” I dare say.

  “No!” She answers sharply. She walks around my desk, opens the top drawer and takes out a big folder. She drops it on my desk. “If you don’t need me any more, I will return to my desk.”

  I say ‘no’ shaking my head and she leaves, puffing like a locomotive. What did I do?

  At lunch Vic lectures me about my behaviour in his office.

  “You are right. I was rude to Harry and I apologized to her. But please try to understand. I came here and saw so many beautiful women around. Then my assistant arrives and she is the opposite of what I hoped for!”

  “James, you are here for business. If you want to flirt and hunt for women, choose another environment, not this agency! Is that clear? Otherwise I will send you back to New York, to your company going bankrupt.”

  Exasperated I pass my hand through my hair. Another wasted day.

  Chapter 5
r />   Valentina

  Harry! That arrogant, pompous ass calls me by a man’s name. God! I am on this stupid train and can’t wait to get home. I made a fool of myself. I tried to dress up and even put on make-up to leave a good impression. I feel so naïve and humiliated. I want to cry. He looked disgusted. I pass my fingers over my eyes to check if the mascara I so stupidly applied, is running down my cheeks.

  My cell phone rings. I hope it’s not Marta. Worse, it’s my mother. She seems to have a sixth sense and immediately knows when something is going wrong for me, even from Sydney. If I answer the phone I might begin crying, so it’s better to turn off the ring tone and not answer.

  I try to think of something else. Tonight Grey’s Anatomy is on TV. I waited for this show all week. Yet I can’t stop thinking about the expression on his face today. I also think of Emma’s stupid expression! She kept smiling and repeating, ‘He’s so handsome!’ Unfortunately I must admit James Spencer is beautiful. Tall, slender and muscular, with honey blonde hair and grey eyes. And that adorable dimple when he smiles. Valentina, are you crazy? Don’t be silly. He has an angel face with the soul of a devil.

  Finally I am at home. A warm bath will help. I soak in the hot water until I remember I have to call my mother back. If I wait too long she will call my brother-in-law, Simon, to check up on me. I get out of the tub and lazily I dry myself, then I call her.

  “Tina?” She answers on the first ring.

  “Hi mom, sorry I didn’t hear the telephone ring. I was taking a bath.”

  “Sweetie, I began to worry about you!”

  “You always exaggerate—” I reply.

  “So how did it go today? What is your new boss like? Fascinating?”

  Who told her about my new boss? Obviously Marta. Such a gossip! She gets excited just like a child in an amusement park!

  “He seems competent.” I quickly answer.

  “Well, it wouldn’t be so bad, if he is competent in addition to being handsome!”

  I can’t stand it when she speaks like a teenager, even though she lectures around the world.

  “To be honest he’s not that special. I think he’s about thirty. He isn’t very tall and he’s chubby. Blonde hair and light blue eyes. Kind of boring.” It’s not a complete lie. At least the colours are true.

  “It’s a pity! Honey, I confess, your lack of social life worries me. You never go out. You spend all your time working or reading. Thank god Marta forces you to visit her at weekends. I hope you aren’t going through a depressed phase.” Actually, today I am feeling very depressed and fragile.

  “Mom, you are doing it again! You exaggerate. Nobody ever died from reading too much. Sorry, you always said that today the world is full of shit! I follow your advice and try not to let the outside world influence me.” I answer sharply.

  “I am sure there is a balance between being a social butterfly and being a home body! I don’t know… why don’t you go to the gym or join a reading group? You love to read. Actually, you could start a book club yourself…” Better stop her before she goes on with her endless advice.

  “Mom, don’t worry. I’m fine. Just today some office colleagues invited me for drinks next Friday.”

  “This is good news! Now I need to go. The most important thing to me is that you are fine, sweetie. A big kiss!”

  “Sure, mom. Everything is great! Say hello to Stewart.” Well, everything is not great. I skip dinner and go to bed.

  *

  After a night full of nightmares and with James Spencer’s face haunting me, I get up more tired than ever. At this point what to wear is the least of my problems. I take a pair of black pants and my favourite light blue, comfortable sweater. I tie my hair in my usual pony tail. I put on boots and a heavy jacket and I’m ready to go.

  I arrive at the office just on time. It’s not important since I’m sure that asshole will be late like Susan used to be. Arrogant and self-righteous people like them always have a good excuse for being late: a meeting, a conference call, a course… On the contrary poor assistants like me always must be on time and work late if there is a dead-line. I did it for Susan all the time. But I am determined not to repeat the same mistake with my new boss. This time I will not get pushed around!

  “Hi Tina. Do you know the boss was already here when I arrived?” Emma’s voice brings me back to reality.

  “What?” Emma jumps on her chair. I must have spoken louder than usual. “It’s not possible that he’s already here! When?”

  “I don’t know precisely. He just opened his door, said hello and asked me what time you usually arrive.”

  Damn! I get up and rush to his office. I guess today will be another long day.

  “Good morning, Mr Spencer. Were you looking for me?”

  He’s writing on his notepad. He looks up and leans back in his chair. He’s staring straight through me. I can’t stand his penetrating eyes. I look down, pretending I am searching for something among the documents scattered on his desk.

  “Valentina, I thought we agreed about a less formal relationship. Why don’t you call me James?” He is completely relaxed with a slight smile on his face. A very sensual man. Elegant. Self-confident. I am so stupid. I try to recover my dignity. But he’s smiling even more now. I feel he knows I was admiring him. Arrogant, presumptuous and narcissistic!

  “You are right, James. May I help you with anything?” I say boldly.

  His smile disappears for a second and reappears when he says: “Please, take a seat.” I obey just like Harry the dog. “Last night I went over those documents.” I notice his hands. Beautiful and strong. His wrist makes me think of two muscular arms… Tina, stop it! I get shivers down my spine, but I try to concentrate on what he’s saying. “…We are in an awkward situation. I think it would be very difficult to honour these contracts without a loss to the agency.” Was his voice so deep yesterday? Thank god he is concentrating on opening a file in his computer. “I did a quick calculation about the sum we can allot to each client. Obviously to imagine a possible gain for the agency is unthinkable.”

  He takes a paper from the printer and passes it over to me. I look at the numbers and sigh.

  “Do you see something wrong?” He asks with a very serious expression on his face. If I didn’t know how badly he behaved yesterday, this would be the boss I wanted. Now I’m only thinking about work.

  “It would be impossible to stay within the budget, looking at your numbers. Redenge wants an Argentinian soccer player as their spokesperson. He is the star player for Inter team. His name is Eduardo Marino and I am afraid his asking fee will be ninety per cent of the total sum you propose. Not to mention Burassi! We intended to launch the new line of jewellery using traditional German fables as inspiration. Now they want to use the Castle of Neuschwanstein or Linderhof as the shooting location. The cost would be outrageous.”

  He passes a hand over his hair.

  “Basically are you telling me that Susan, that bitch, robbed and left the agency in a total chaos?”

  I felt sorry. I didn’t want to discourage him. I just wanted to be realistic.

  “No, James!” He looks at me, almost surprised. Maybe he doesn’t want me to call him by his first name. But he asked for it. I keep going and looking at the Excel table print in front of me. I say: “I just wanted to share with you what I know. I wasn’t present when Susan was making all these promises. I sent emails to the clients following her instructions. The only thing we can try to do now is find alternative winning solutions for the clients, that are less expensive for us.”

  As soon I finish talking, I find the courage to look at him. His expression is the same as when I called him James. Surprised. I breathe. I am ready to apologize when he says:

  “Let’s start this way. Can you provide me with a list of everything Susan discussed with those clients? As soon we have the whole picture we will be able to understand the best way forward.”

  “No problem. I have all my notes somewhere. I will st
art immediately.” But when I am almost out of the room, his voice stops me.

  “Valentina, wait! I found Susan’s notes in the bottom of her drawer. She set the first clients meetings in two weeks.” I return and fall back in my chair. Usually Susan set the first meeting a month away. Why such a hurry? “I called all three companies and they confirmed the appointments. I took the occasion to introduce myself and tell them I will be their new contact. I explained that Ms Mars took a sabbatical for personal reasons. Yes, we are in trouble.” While he’s saying that he leans back in his chair. He seems tired.

  “Ok. I will quickly look for my notes and if you want, I’ll order an espresso from Caffe` Villa for you. It’s the one with the most caffeine in it!” Why do I say such a silly thing? He is in front of me with a serious and worried expression so I propose a coffee instead. I am surprised as he smiles at me. “In that case, two coffees!”

  I understand. He is not accustomed to Italian coffee.

  “Don’t look at me that way! One espresso is for you. I am nervous enough. I don’t need more than one fix!”

  I nod while leaving the room. I feel kind of groggy. I am not sure why. Is it because of him or because of my unpredictable behaviour toward him?

  Chapter 6

  James

  I do not think of my mother often. I spent only three years of my life with her while I was growing up. When I look at some old photographs I have flashbacks. Perhaps I don’t really have any memories of her. Maybe it’s only the influence of those photos. Today, when Harry called my name with that Italian-English accent, it was like listening to a familiar voice. A faraway memory of my mother’s voice came back to me. I was shocked for a few seconds.

  Another shock was to see Harry’s drab appearance, which was even worse today than yesterday. I tried not to focus on her horrible clothes. But I have to agree with Vic, she is competent and smart. We worked hard all day. While having lunch in my office, I noticed that she was eating a sandwich at her desk while absorbed in reading documents. She didn’t notice me.